We are all thinking A LOT of the same thoughts...
Keep writing in to firstname.lastname@example.org to share your thoughts anonymously!
I have been dealing with these feelings of desire since my husband passed. We hadn't made love for 6 months before he passed because he was just not well physically. I thought I was losing my mind. I am so happy to find out I'm not alone in this feeling of loss and the need to be intimate.
I am 4 months out and I had not clue there was such a things as Widows Fire and boy can I feel it
How much was sex on your mind in the early days of grief and what did you do with those feelings? : Last 3 weeks or so I'm so horny. How did having sex with someone new make you feel after? : Have not yet but really want to.
Did you/do you believe there can be a great love for you again?: Possibly
What has surprised you about sex/intimacy/love after loss?: Nothing yet
Tell us more about your Widow's Fire experience: It's definitely real
(Female, widowed age 38)
How much was sex on your mind in the early days of grief and what did you do with those feelings? : Thought about it everyday.
How did having sex with someone new make you feel after? : Haven't tried it yet but want to
Did you/do you believe there can be a great love for you again?: Yes
What has surprised you about sex/intimacy/love after loss?: Haven't experienced it yet, but hoping soon
Tell us more about your Widow's Fire experience...: So far i really like the podcasts
I am not widowed but my friend is and is having problems similar to what is mentioned on your site. She didn't have a physical relationship with her husband for six years before he died - he had alcohol related issues and she is now obsessed with sex. I am supporting her - can I join to get information to help her please? Thank you.
We had the best sex life, had an uncanny connection of knowing what each other wanted and needed. Let go of all past inhibitions from previous relationships and enjoyed each other mind, body and soul. We pretty much did everything together by choice and were very happy with that. I knew she was dying for about the last 3 months of her life, that's when it first entered my mind that we would never have sex again as she was too poorly. Soon after her death, missing her closeness and just feeling good about myself I began masturbating. As a 50 year old man, this is something I hadn't done for some years.
Although I did get momentary pleasure this was followed by horrendous feelings of guilt, like I was cheating on my wife, I shouldn't be doing this so soon after her death, am I some kind of pervert etc. It was really beginning to alarm me.
I recently met a fellow widower who explained I may be going through something called widow or widowers fire??
I was like, ok......so what is that!
Listening to your podcast, although very upsetting, removed all guilt. Its bad enough that we suffer this grief that we should feel guilty in our search for anything that gives us comfort. I don't drink or take drugs and during these difficult times find it hard to find companionship.